


Frisky business

by MogiPrince



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Awkward Boners, Frisking, M/M, Suggestive Themes, police!eren, thug!levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-09 23:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6929317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MogiPrince/pseuds/MogiPrince
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren has been a cop for 6 surprisingly leisurely years, never having to do more than a few threats or arrest a couple of young thugs here and there. Nothing ever serious or out of the ordinary...That was until he had to detain a fairly scary older man for fighting and causing a disruption on public property.</p>
<p>"I never said this before but I really hope that's a gun in your sweats,"</p>
<p>"yeah, me too..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Frisky business

**Author's Note:**

> OK SO,  
> Funniest thing ever, the other day I was laying in bed reading fanfics on my phone and I saw a fanfic called "Pink Lace" and thought ok I'll read it, it looks ok i guess... read it and was like "wow this is so familiar" then looked at the author and I wrote it...... wow..  
> I'M SOO SORRY ABOUT PINK LACE its been a YEAR since I updated... long enough for me to apparently forget I wrote it. I will try to update I'm just soooo bad at writing non oneshot fanfics....
> 
> anyways, yeah this was inspired by that really cringey video of that cop grabbing that person's boner while frisking them... the title being a pun on risky business, not so much the movie since it has no similarities but the fact that being a cop is a "risky business". 
> 
> enjoy!

  
_"Nearest patrol unit to 99605 85st Rosa’s Bar, we have a call about a disturbance..."_

 

         It wasn’t the first time Eren had been called down to Rosa, the bar was just a magnet for trouble. The bar itself was rather nice though, it had respectful staff and was surprisingly clean on the inside with a warm and welcoming feeling. The walls were painted a dark red and never had any chipping anywhere, which suggests to Eren that they either frequently repainted the walls or didn’t cheap out on the paint they bought. Either way to Eren it meant that the owners really did care for their bar and that made Eren proud to protect their bar for them. The staff never seemed to have problems with most of the regulars but due to where the bar was located, they still got a decent amount of annoyances coming through. Most of them were only the poignant drunkards causing a ruckus in the bar and disturbing other customers. None of them were really memorable except the few here and there.

         Eren remembered the first time he had been called down to the bar. It had been in winter, he remembered this part well since he kept slipping under the patrol car every time he’d try to wrench the door open. It was also his first year of being on the police force and he was such a sheepish young rookie, pretty much stepping on his much older partner’s heels every time they had been called into an area. His partner at the time, Sergeant Shadis (now superintendent), was for a lack of better words was harsh to everyone. Criminals, witnesses, bystanders and even his own fellow officers, but Eren still looked up to him. Mostly cause he got shit done when it needed to be. That day in winter is when Eren saw how Shadis dealt with drunkards and immediately the next month Eren attempted to recreate how Shadis dealt with the situation and it ended in a failure (way more violence than there needed to be). Needless to say Eren tried a more passive path to dealing with unstable people.

         The second most memorable time he had gone down to Rosa was only a year ago when he had been called in to deal with a couple of miscreants who had been repeatedly buying bar food and putting it down under other people’s tabs. The two kids (whom truthfully were probably the same age as Eren but just gave off a much more young vibrancy) weren’t a couple as far as Eren knew but they definitely seemed like long time friends or maybe even life partners. When Eren confronted the two, the shorter one with the shaved hair had immediately latched onto Eren like leech and then yelled for his partner in crime to make a run for it. Fortunately she was distracted by the fish and chips and Eren was able to waddle over to her with the shaved boy attached to his leg. The detaining was quick and the drive a little more lively than usual with the constant, “Cops eat donuts right? Got any donuts?”. Eventually Eren had dropped them off at the station where they were seen munching on donuts in the holding unit.

After that, there were a few more memories that Eren was fond of from that bar but honestly most of them reminded Eren of the stench of alcohol breath.

Arriving at Rosa, Eren almost immediately noticed the large crowd that was being rushed out of the bar by the staff, who looked a little more than frazzled. Parking at the side of the building, Eren quickly got out of his car and jogged up to one of the night time staff.

“Hello, I’m officer Yeager! What seems to be the problem?” Eren asked, the tall woman gave him a bit of an incredulous look, her freckles on her nose scrunching up into a crease. For a moment Eren was worried that she was gonna yell at him for just asking, “Uhm..”  
.  
“Are they kidding me? They sent you!? Mister Stripper? Out of all the cops in the force they sent the one that looks like a twink to stop this shit?” sighing loudly, she gave him a very drawn out and dirty once over then dragged him to the door of the bar where most of the staff were. Some of the staff were checking over the customers and the others just looking bothered by the whole scenario. “OK so, from what I know there are two guys in there having probably the most brutal fight i’ve witnessed in a public space. I’m not sure how it started but frankly I don’t care. I just want to get back to work."

         Eren nodded (not really wanting to deal with pissed off bartenders) and then pushed the bar door open so he could walk through, Immediately his eye caught the few wrecked tables and chairs that were scattered around the room. The second thing he noticed was the much larger blonde man clearly unconscious on the ground and the dark haired shorter man above him with his fists ‘getting to know’ the larger mans face.

“HEY!” Eren yelled, hoping it would get the shorter man to stop his assault and then immediately regretted it when he realized he had basically just announced himself to the shorter man causing the guy to flinched and book it for the door of the bar, shoving Eren to the side, flinging it open and (from what Eren heard) startling the crowd outside. Eren made the quick decision between checking on the unconscious man on the ground or the fleeing assailant. He chose the latter (and would later regret that choice too as he stands before his police chief berating him about how he should have put the lives of the victim before catching the criminal). Pursuing the man wasn’t as hard as Eren thought when he realized he had quickly caught up to the shorter man ( probably because he had already loss stamina in the fight but Eren liked to think it was because his legs were longer) and tackled the man to the ground.

        A loud grunt escaped the assailant as his chest hit the ground, winding himself for a moment. Eren loosened his grip in fear he was hurting the shorter man and (again not for the first time that day) regretted his mercy as the assailant twisted himself onto his back and attempted to shove Eren off. Eren, with his two years of training, foresaw this move (and it would be the last time he ever predicted this man's moves) and with both hands held the man's hands to the ground, causing the confined man to attempt to buck Eren off of his thighs but only succeeding in accidentally moving Eren closer to his pelvis. The man, who had calmed down a bit more after realizing he had no escape, was a lot more muscular than Eren realized and deep down made Eren relieved the man didn’t choose to fight him rather than flee. (Eren also noticed that the man, who was now very clearly older, was also pretty handsome.)

“Usually I prefer to be on top.”

….

“What?”

“I said, I like topping. More than bottoming. For the most part I guess… I quite enjoy working up a sweat. I also like fucking brunettes,”

        Eren couldn’t believe his ears. Why was this guy suddenly discussing sex to him. Eren didn’t care who or how he liked fucking. There was a time and place for everything and yet somehow that sentence should never have been brought into existence for Eren. Shaking his head slightly, Eren sighed and quickly handcuffed the man while bringing himself into a crouching position so he could stand up and still have a grip on the man.

“Kinky… I’d prefer you to wear them though but I don’t mind a feisty power bottom,”

“Shut up.” Eren brought the man over to his patrol car, which thankfully wasn’t too far from where they landed, and placed the man against the side of the car so he would have nowhere to run. Somewhat forcefully (Eren would later admit he was embarrassed and therefore angry) pulled the man's legs back and spread them so he could subdue him easier. He tried to ignore the man’s complaints.

“Damn babe, be gentler I just took a massive beating from a giant a moment ago,”

“You know you have the right to remain quiet. I suggest you use it,”

“Harsh yet still so hot. Name’s Levi by the way, how about you?”

Eren ignored him.

       Eren began to frisk the outside of Levi’’s garments, feeling the side and front of his white (now stained with red) hoodie for any weapons and ignoring the man’s half growl, half purr. Quickly moving on after finding nothing but a receipt for a bag of marbles from the dollar store, crouching down Eren began to frisk the man’s legs focusing more on the front pockets of his loose sweats. Patting his hands down repeatedly over his front pockets till Eren’s right hand suddenly came into contact with something hard. Rapidly Eren moved his hand and roughly gripped the thick object to identify what the weapon could be and, for the fourth time that day, regretted his actions. A heavy grunt from the assailant soon followed after Eren had gripped the warm, thick appendage in the men's sweats. Levi, who was either wearing thin briefs or going commando, awkwardly bent into himself in an attempt to get Eren (who was shocked) to let go of his grip on the man.

"I never said this before but I really hope that's a gun in your sweats,"

"yeah, me too..."

      There was a silence that followed. Anyone one who was onlooking would have seen an awkward half bent man in handcuffs and an apparent “twink” officer crouching down with the shorter man’s dick in his hand. And of course any of the onlookers would have thought ‘oh gay porno’ if it weren’t for the very real patrol car that had the shorter man’s head almost leaning.

“Uhm… I’m ready to be put in the car now,” Levi mumbled, apparently having his (very vulnerable) erection in the hands of the officer who arrested him really rubbed him the wrong way. Or maybe the right way seeing as how Eren could feel Levi twitching in his hand. Awkwardly Eren opened the back car door and let Levi sit down in the seat, his head somewhat lowered (probably to hide his embarrassment).

After situating himself in the driver’s seat and turning the car on, Eren glanced back through the caged window at Levi. “I’m calling for an ambulance to bring the other man to the hospital, do you think you need any medical care?”

Levi mumbled something.

“Excuse me?”

“30…..vol…. stol”

“ What? You have to speak up? It’s hard to hear the back from here,”

“G30 or volcanic pistol?”

Eren tensed at the sudden talk about guns, “What.. What do you mean?”

“Would you say my dick was a G30 pistol or a volcanic pistol? What about a shotgun?"

**Author's Note:**

> Ruckus and frazzled is just a small glimpse of how old school and ridiculous my vocabulary is...  
> also i dont really know how police work and writing the movement for Eren made him seem really empty and OOC so I apologize about that and also i have no clue what guns are i just know a G30 is a thick normal looking handgun and a volcanic pistol if one of those long pistols used as a side arm for shotguns.  
> ok so i'm pretty much a sack of depression right now and I'm neither in school or working at the moment so I'm gonna push myself to update and write more.... (hopefully)


End file.
